Thursday, 7 December 2017

BLOGMAS DAY 7: Christmas Cracker Jokes

Hello! Welcome to my blog if you're new and welcome back if you're returning! I have decided that I am going to do 'Blogmas' this year where I will be posting every day from the 1st of December until the 24th of December, so come back every day for a new post!

I thought that it would be funny to crack a few jokes this christmas, so I have made a list of the best christmas cracker jokes that I have found, maybe you could try them on your family and friends this christmas, enjoy!

What does santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Why did santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low "elf" esteem! 

Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws! 

What do you get if you cross santa with a duck?
A christmas quacker!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws

What says Oh Oh Oh?
Santa walking backwards!

Why does santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it 'soots' him!

Who is santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!

What do santa's elves learn at school?
The elf-abet!

What do you call a bankrupt santa?
Saint Nickel-less!

What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?
An elfcicle!

What do you get if santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Krisp Kringle!

Why are christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles! 

What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas? 
Vegan twerky!

I can't get to the chocolates in my advent calendar.
Foiled again!

Why was the turkey the drummer in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose!

What did Adam say the day before christmas?
"It's Christmas Eve"!

What does santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an elf farm!

What did santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker!

What’s a dog’s favourite carol?
Bark, the herald angels sing!

What does father christmas do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack!

What is santa’s favourite pizza?
One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even!

Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer!

What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days!

How do snowmen get around?
By riding an ‘icicle!

What’s a child’s favourite King at Christmas?
A stocking!

What do you call a blind reindeer?
No idea!

What kind of paper likes music?
(W)rapping paper!

What's the difference between the clementine in your Christmas stocking and Donald Trump?
Nothing, they're both a little orange!

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